Thorns and Roses
by Shoikana
Summary: This story contains an original character. When I created her, I made Nightcrawler her husband. This is the story of his proposal.


Thorns and Roses

"God dammit!" Sarah swore at the scalding water as she shook her hand, trying to cool it.While trying to fill a mug of hot water, she had missed and poured it on her hand instead.A trivial task—one she had done countless times before without thinking twice—now simply served to remind her of her blindness.She had been blind for five years, and had adjusted as well as one could expect to adjust, but sometimes she just couldn't take it anymore.And the last few days had been one of those times.

Many times her blindness even worked to her advantage.Her professors, including her dissertation advisor, often underestimated her academic ability and were therefore often amazed when she completed a task expected of any other Ph.D. candidate.Normally she hated being underestimated, but she had to admit that it was useful to astound the professionals that would eventually decide whether or not she was worthy of a doctorate.Of course it helped to have access to tremendous wealth.Her father paid for her to have a personal assistant so that she would have the ability to do tasks taken for granted by the sighted, such as reading mail, and more importantly, reading class assignments and the research on which her own research was based.

And of course Kurt and his family helped her whenever they could—Salem Center was close enough to Manhattan to make day visits feasible, and often Kurt or one of the other X-men would pick her up.Of all the homes she had lived in—and the X-mansion qualified since as a teenager she had lived here for a year to study her mutant gift—this one was the most comfortable.Her father's mansion was too cold, and the sounds inside echoed eerily, and her first home in New Orleans had always come with a price.And here there was even family that understood the price she had borne in New Orleans.

So in all, thinking logically, her life was pretty good.Especially considering her blindness, she could be a lot worse off, and she was acutely aware of it.But she wasn't thinking logically right now, and she had been sulkingly silent on the trip up here with Kurt this morning, something which, even through her depression, she still felt badly about.

"Leibling? You ok?"Kurt.Of course her shout would have alerted him, but she wished it hadn't.She didn't want to snap at him again; next to her brother, Kurt was the most important person in the world to her.Yet another reason she hated her blindness.Every time they went out, she heard the whispers around them.The ones that suggested that of course he'd have to find a blind woman to date because of his obvious mutant appearance.She wanted them to know that she wished with all her heart that she could see his features.The thought of his soft fur always brought a smile to her face. Except today.

"I'm fine," Sarah growled a little more roughly than she had intended.

She sighed, sorry that she had snapped, but before she could vocalize her regret, Kurt asked with concern, "You sure you're ok?"He took in the scene and asked, "May I help you?"

"No, I'm fine really," she repeated, although she didn't think she sounded very convincing."Just a little sick of having to do things the hard way." She carried the mug and the teapot to the sink and dumped the water unceremoniously.She knew Kurt had noticed her emotional state—it would be hard not to notice—and if it weren't so bad, she would try to hide it.But right now she didn't care. Leaving the mug and teapot behind, she returned to the counter so that she was centered and facing Kurt.

She heard Kurt come into the kitchen from the doorway and stand on the other side of the counter peninsula.She heard the disquiet and caution in his voice as he questioned, "Are you sure there isn't something I can do, Leibling?" 

She sighed again, and closed her eyes.Maybe for a moment, she could pretend she couldn't see simply because her eyes were shut.It didn't help, so she opened them again and said, "No.I have to snap out of it.It's just not easy." She paused and added quietly, "You couldn't understand."

Sarah's words brought unshed tears to Kurt's eyes, and he matched her quiet tone as he looked to the counter and moved his three-fingered hand to touch her own.He said, "Ok, but promise me you'll tell me when I can help."

Sarah nodded, "I promise, Kurt."

**

"I just don't know what to do, Logan," Kurt confided.The Canadian X-man had found his friend perched in a tree near the border of the school grounds.If it hadn't been for his feral sense of smell, Logan probably never would have found his German teammate, and he knew Kurt wanted to be alone.But that hadn't stopped Logan from joining him.So Logan had climbed up that same tree against his better judgement, and was currently sitting on one of the stronger branches with his back leaning against the trunk.Perched further out from the trunk, for, with his power to teleport, Kurt had no qualms related to heights, and with his back to Logan, Kurt had a moment ago turned around briefly to acknowledge his friend's presence.

"Sometimes there's nothing you can do, Elf," Logan stated."She's got to snap out of it herself."

"But I want to help her.I have to help her. I can't bear her depression, Logan."Kurt said woefully.

"You've got to, Kurt.The only thing you can do is wait for her to ask for help.If you offer before, it will fall on deaf ears." Logan stated matter-of-factly.

"I know.But it's hard."Kurt paused, and suddenly heard the tell-tale *snikt* of Wolverine's claws.He turned just in time to see his off-balance friend reach behind him to sink his claws into the trunk of the tree as Wolverine delivered a part sheepish-grin/ part glare to Kurt.Kurt laughed in response, and, partially to show off, executed a flamboyantly acrobatic maneuver to turn around and face Logan.

Logan's glare turned playful as he accused, "Show off," to which Kurt simply grinned.

Kurt's demeanor turned serious again as he brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his feet around the branch, and rested his arms, and then his chin, on his knees. Logan saw his friend lose himself in thought and waited for Kurt to voice his thoughts.Kurt sensed that his friend was waiting for him to speak, and, finally, did so,"I was thinking.. You know I've been considering.." 

Kurt had confided in Logan last week about his plan to propose marriage to Sarah, so Logan knew where he was going and interrupted, "Be careful, Elf.A proposal now might not happen like you'd like.Sarah's hurtin'.Right now, she sees only bad.So that even if every fiber in her is shoutin' yes, she'll tell you no.Trust me, I know where she is."

Kurt looked at his friend with a solemn expression."I have no doubt that you do, mein Freund.And although I've certainly had my bouts with depression, I'm not sure I've reached the depths she's in now.But I've got to do something. I must try."

Logan nodded, understanding his friend's position, and hoping he was wrong about Sarah's reaction.But he didn't think he was."Good luck, Elf." Logan stated somberly.

**

Kurt went looking for Sarah and found her in the danger room flying from a holographic trapeze rigging and with a holographic partner.Kurt knew that while she didn't have his skill on the trapeze, Sarah had been taught some of Kurt's childhood art by her brother, who shared Kurt's childhood history with the art.Kurt was glad to see Sarah being active—it meant that she was trying to fight her depression rather than let it consume her.

From the holographic projector's control room, he watched her silently for a moment as she swung in the flying position—hands on the bar—and then released and executed a double somersault before successfully catching her holographic partner's hands.Professionally speaking, Kurt was impressed; Sarah had greatly improved in the last few months, and it was obvious by her new skill that flying was her preferred form of exercise these days.Kurt found himself wondering hopefully if it was because he came from a flying background.

Sarah returned to her own swing, and he watched she prepare to do another tumble.A mischievous thought entered his mind and he shut down her holographic partner.He watched her, carefully timing his planned action, and suddenly *bamfed.*He reappeared on the catcher's trapeze, giving Sarah only a moment's warning with the sound and scent of his teleport.Sarah jumped involuntarily, let out a surprised yell, and lost her composure in mid-tumble.Fortunately she had already started to extend, for Kurt's timing had been perfect, and he caught her wrists as he let out a playful laugh.

"Kurt!" Sarah scolded as she swung from his hold, although her expression held a hint of a smile. "You're going to be the death of me!"

"Oh, nein," Kurt grinned back, "I haven't even begun." He released Sarah as she signaled to return to her own swing, and he asked, "Another?"He made no effort to hide his mischievous tone as he asked, "Try a lateral flip?"He suggested that move because it was the safest to fall out of. 

Sarah nodded consent, and Kurt saw that the earlier trace of a smile was gone.He mentally crossed his fingers as he changed position enough to gain momentum.As he changed back to the catcher's position, Sarah leapt off the platform, and Kurt watched as she concentrated on position.She signaled her impending release, and then let go of her swing.While not perfect, her form was good enough to complete the tumble until Kurt released his bombshell.Just as Sarah started to come around from her flip to catch Kurt's wrists, he asked, "Will you marry me?"

Sarah had the expected response.She exclaimed, "What?!" as she lost concentration enough to miss Kurt's wrists and started to fall.Wearing a grin, Kurt instantly teleported to catch her in midair, and teleported safely to the ground.

Kurt's planned gallant words were thwarted by Sarah's surprised exclamation, "You want to marry me?!"

Kurt's expression turned puzzled as he said, "Ja, of course.Certainly you've thought about it.."He started to become concerned.

"Well, yes," Sarah admitted, "But I just assumed.. I figured.."

"Was?You assumed I wouldn't want to marry you?!Warum?!"Kurt was confused and concerned.

Sarah shrugged."I just assumed.. Well, I just figured I wouldn't be married.. You know, since I'm disabled..I guess I just assumed I'd end up like my dad."

Kurt enveloped Sarah, and as he held her close with one hand stroking her hair, he whispered, "You are not your father, Falke. And mein Gott, you should know by now that your blindness doesn't bother me.It is simply a part of you.I want to share my life with you, Leibling.I love you."

As Kurt spoke, Sarah started to weep softly."I certainly love you.. don't get me wrong.." she started, "But I'm not sure.. I don't want you to have to.. settle.. You deserve more.."Her tears got more forceful, and Kurt responded by holding her more tightly.

"Shh.." Kurt soothed, "You're all I could ever hope for, Leibling.I thought you knew that—I don't know how else to convince you."

Sarah pulled away gently, and wiped her blind eyes as she smiled."I know, love.It's not you.It's me.I've got to sort things out, ok?"

"Ok.Take as long as you need, Falke.I'll be here." Sarah tried not to hear the hurt in Kurt's voice.

**

When Logan finally found Sarah, she was sitting behind the wheel of Warren's sport-red convertible Ferrari with her hands on the wheel.She appeared to be looking straight ahead, and she was clearly brooding."Hey," Logan started. He continued lightly, "I don't think Warren would appreciate you at the wheel of his car."

Sarah turned to his direction and gave a half-smile. She said dryly,"I don't think he has to worry."She heard Logan open the passenger door and get in and faced front again.

"Nice feel," Logan commented off-handedly.He turned to Sarah, "How're you doin', darlin'?"

Sarah could tell by his tone that he already knew.Rather than answer, she stated, "You know, most people wish they had the money so they can drive a car like this.I have the money.I just wish I had the sight."

"Sometimes you do have the sight, Sarah.And if I may say, those wheels you've got as Shadowhawke put this machine to shame."

Sarah smiled at the reminder, and then lost her smile again."I know, but it's not the same.Five years, you'd think I'd be used to it.You don't know how much I hate the government for what it did to me."

"You'll never be used to it, darlin', that's a fact.And I do know your hatred.You ain't the only one whose government got its claws into."As Wolverine said the word 'claws,' he unsheathed his own for effect. 

"Sorry," Sarah said quietly.

"It's ok," Wolverine said, "Just remember that you're not alone here.If anyone can understand what you've gone through, it's the X-men.You've got a family here, darlin', and you've got a great friend who wants to be your husband," Wolverine was stopped by Sarah's surprised look.Logan grinned, "You don't think Kurt didn't share his intentions with someone before he asked you, do you?"

Sarah laughed, "No I guess not," she confessed.

Logan continued, "Kurt told me what happened in the danger room.He feels bad about it…"

Sarah interrupted with concern, "Why?I told him it wasn't him; it was me.I just have to sort stuff out—last thing I want to do is hurt him."

"I know that, darlin'.And Kurt does too, but you know he's got to help.Even when he knows he should stay out of it.Besides, you know that if your blindness bothered him, your money would probably be enough to make up for it."Sarah heard the teasing grin in Logan's voice, and she laughed.

"Good point," she grinned.

"He also told me that you think he can't understand what you're going through, and he wants to.Bad."Logan noticed Sarah's remorseful expression and continued, "Last thing I want to do is make light of how you feel about your disability, but you gotta realize that in some way, Kurt suffers from a disability too."He paused as he saw Sarah's puzzled expression and the question on her lips.He answered the unspoken question, "It ain't easy to look the way he does, darlin'.Just as most people take sight for granted, they take lookin' like everyone else for granted too."

"That may be, but he can don an image inducer and nullify his appearance."

"True.But you can do the same thing with your mask.And just because he's covering it don't mean it goes away.I think you know that Kurt's acutely aware that he's livin' a lie when he wears the inducer."Sarah nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I never thought of it like that," Sarah confessed.She thought a moment, resting her head on the headrest of the seat and closing her eyes.Logan waited in the comfortable silence, looking ahead, yet not seeing what lay before him.He found himself wondering if he had made any kind of impression on Sarah.He got his answer when Sarah moved again; opening her eyes and lifting her head; and, as she reached for the door handle, stated, "I think I need to go find Kurt."She opened the door and got out.She shut the door with both hands and stood motionless for a moment so that Logan finally looked at her questioningly.She looked as though she were trying to find words when she simply said, "Thanks, Logan."

Logan smiled from his seat and responded, "Anytime, darlin'"

**

Sarah found Kurt in the kitchen preparing lunch.She had heard movement, and before she had had a chance to ask for the person's identity, Kurt had greeted, "Hi, Sarah."It was a habit he had long ago acquired so that she wouldn't have to go through the motions of identifying him.Truth was though, she was getting to the point at which she knew his movements by sound anyway. 

She heard the smile in his voice, and smiled back. "Making lunch?" she asked as she stopped at the counter across from him.

"Ja.Peanut butter and jelly for myself, Kitty, and Rogue.Want one?"

"Gourmet lunch, eh?" Sarah teased.

Kurt laughed and teased back, "Well I offered to make blood sausage, but they declined."

Sarah laughed good-naturedly and said, "I get the same reaction when I offer crawfish. Sure, I'll take one.Thanks." Then she turned visibly more serious which concerned Kurt as he spread peanut butter on Rogue's sandwich, and she stated, "I was talking to Logan, and I have something to ask you."Her expression made Kurt think that he was not going to like the question, and he found himself frozen in mid-spread and holding his breath in apprehension.Then, with a deadpan expression, Sarah asked, "Will you marry me?"

She heard Kurt's breath rush out in relief, and his knife handle hit the counter as he relaxed his arm, and she broke into a broad grin. "Leibling, you're going to be the death of me," Kurt mimicked with a grin.Then, releasing the knife, he performed an acrobatic flip to land behind Sarah and embrace her from behind.Resting his chin on her shoulder and swaying her gently, he whispered into her ear, "I would be honored." 


End file.
